In past trips, I realized the easiness to be somewhere else, and hence the "multi-location" aspect of life (sensation of being somewhere and elsewhere simultaneously).
But the real deal I found in my latest trip is the non-existence of my current location: it's not that I can be somewhere else, but that I am just not really here right now. It's the deconstruction of the current self, the absolute doubt and rejection of every senses that can keep the current state of things as interesting, because finally I wouldn't be subject to the tyranny of the environment. Finally Dailiness and earthly things wouldn't win.
And maybe that's why I never got crazy, because the environment controls me so much. Things never break by themselves, so being a mirror of things is a natural defense to madness breaking in.
Maturity, experience, don't come necessarily as a surprise, they can come as the psychological realization of a truth known before, like: we are all equal - is still a surprising thought.
Apprendre a laisser tomber, laisser faire, se separer du monde meme quand il est la, tres present, apprendre a laisser les liens qui nous attachent au monde a exister par eux-memes sans essayer de les toucher. Laisser les sensations se faire et se defaire, oublier de vouloir tout controler. La respiration, y penser, mediter lentement. Redecouvrir l'eau, l'air. Laisser les sensations revenir a l'interieur, passer au travers. Ne plus etre un obstacle.
Learning to let go, to forgo (to ignore), to detach oneself from the world even when it's there, so present, learning to let our ties with the world live by themselves and not try to touch them. Let sensations link and unlink, forget to want to control everything. Breathing, thinking about it, slowly meditate. Rediscover water, air. Let sensations come back inside, go through them. To no longer be an obstacle.
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